


How to beat a lie-detector

by Mepoe, Nylaysu



Series: Of spies and heroes and their shenanigans [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Natasha being Badass, Part 11 of Of spies and heroes and their shenanigans, Tony is nosy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 10:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10569828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mepoe/pseuds/Mepoe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nylaysu/pseuds/Nylaysu
Summary: Everyone (except Coulson Mai & Bobby) is curious about if Natasha was able to beat the truth machine, so she accepts being put to test (Spoiler alert: she totally beats it! With a reference)





	

Everyone was at the base of SHIELD, they were discussing joint strategies for missions that needed both teams. Along the way, the subject of Grant Ward had arised, Tony was criticising the lie-detector because it didn’t detect Ward’s lies.

 

“In theory the lie detector measures galvanic skin response, oxygen consumption, microexpressions, biofeedback, brain-waves, pupil dilation, voice biometrics.  **Ninety-six** variables in all. Fury made it so Romanoff couldn’t beat it.” Simmons informed “That traitorous snake cheated taking advantage of the fact that he was hurt so the machine couldn’t detect his lies correctly…”

“And also saying half-truths“ interrupted Daisy “Can we go back to tactics?”

“Nononono. STOP” said Tony gleefully “Made to beat  _ Natashalie _ ? I want to see that”

All the Avengers **looked** at Natasha. The agents of SHIELD glanced their way. Clint smiled, predatorily.

“You. Are. On. You are sooo on” he responded for her.

\-------------------------------

“Can I have your full name?”

“Natasha Alianovna Romanoff”

“Eye color?”

“Emerald green”

“Have you ever been married?”

“Where do you think I got my codename?” she said sarcastically.

“Please list your immediate family.”

“None”

“CLINT IS!” shouted Coulson.

“Yes! What I am for you!?” cried Clint dramatically.

“A nosy back-end”

Clint looked offended. Thor looked outraged. Steve smirked like the little shit he was.

“What's the difference between an egg and a rock?”

“One is brown or white, the other is usually grey. But both are appropriate weapons”

“What is appropriate about an egg as a weapon!?”

“You  **really** don’t want to know”

“Have you ever heard of project…?”

“OZPIN & OOBLECK” interrupted Tony.

“Yes.”

“I literally just came up with a random name”

“It exists”

“... No way. Where?”

“Classified”

Tony choked on air.

“Ever had any contact with...?”

“Mundungus Fletcher?”

“Yes”

“You wash up on a deserted island alone. Sitting on the sand is a box. What is in that box?”

“Classified”

“Why are you here?”

“The team is curious”

“How old are you?”

“85 give or take a few months”

Everyone turned aggressively towards the monitor of the lie detector.

“It says it is true...”

“As everything else I said”

“That can’t be possible. What are you!?”

“ I am a four-hundred foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings. ”

There was  **silence** . Simons looked again at the monitor.

”It says it is true” she announced.

“She’s like Descartes, the philosopher” added Fitz completely convinced of his statement.

“Wait, who, what, when!? NO, don’t answer I DON’T want to know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Mepoe: Fitz refers to Descartes because he thinks that Natasha uses the old technique of believing your own lies and Descartes says that you Cannot believe anything until you rationalise it.
> 
> Nylaysu: Well another fic done and posted, this time with philosophical things too!! By the way whoever gets all the references wins a virtual cookie.


End file.
